Rambling on and on…
I am the most imperfect person
But if you can accept me and my faults
I will love you endlessly
I will fold every sweet word you’ve ever spoken and file it deep within the most important drawer of my heart
I will long to etch the words of my adoration on the scroll of your skin so you may know just how much I care… that I’m not going anywhere
I will breathe in your laughter like stardust that fills the night sky so that I may be as radiant as you
Maybe I am terrified of this love, maybe I am not as strong as I seem
But I promise I will try to turn the mess that I am into something beautiful for you
untitled.
please don’t feel like it’s not alright…
to love and to hate at the same time
to want to kiss him so fiercely that your lips sting as you inhale when you pull away
to want to build a time machine out of every forced apology and insult that he’s ever spoken
to go back to the moment you met him and decide that he’s not worth investing every dime of your love in
to look in the mirror and see a ghost so unrecognizable
to not remember the last time that you felt like something more than a mess of capillaries and bones and tissues operating on autopilot
to cringe at the sound of your own name
to want to crawl back into your mother’s womb
to deny that this life is anything less than perfect, less than beautiful
to want to curl into a ball so small that you become invisible
to decide not to settle
to protect yourself
to tell the man who created you to bow down to his new daughter that he would rather be in the shape of an empty bottle
to acknowledge that you will not always be his little girl
to thirst for the burn of your saltwater stains rolling across your cheeks
to finally feel something for the first time in weeks
to worship the sweet release.. of everything. of nothing.
to fall to your knees and pray to your maker
to crash into the only thing that’s left
“There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book.”
The taste of blood filled my mouth the day you bit my lip,
Reminding me that this love was sweet masochism.
Recovering
Sunshine beats down upon my face and I am glad,
Glad I didn’t let that monster drag me down,
Down into the infinite darkness,
Because I don’t know why I’m here or what comes after,
But I see blinding light every time I look into your eyes,
I feel hope every time I hear your laugh,
I come to know love every time you touch me,
And those three things alone are worth me staying
Moon illuminates the heat building between our mouths like the pavement on a 96 degree day
Sparks ignite as we breathe in the thick, star-sprinkled air
Cloak of darkness temporarily blinds us, allowing us to pretend we aren’t ourselves in this moment,
That we aren’t committing this sin
You are not mine, this is not my place
Waterfall of wanting surges through my center
The choice is yours
I am not it
Desperate
Like a tidal wave crashing mercilessly onto the shoreline is the knot in my gut
Relentless ripples of hurt paralyze my judgment
Still frames of your kiss flicker endlessly through my dreams
Your touch like the spring wind,
Strong enough to chase out winter’s bitterness, soft enough to warm me to my core
Imprints of your fingertips still burn into my side
On my hands and knees pleading like a child
Don’t look at me with pity, love me instead
My heart beats…
love me, love me, love me.
Kiss my insecurities away.
Breathe courage into my lungs.
Love me, love me, love me.
